Dear Old Hippie: I have heard that in many cases you can flush your system with cranberry juice. Is this true?

I am eligible for a medicinal marijuana card in Ontario, but before I had the diagnoses that helped me and made it so I was eligible, I consumed cannabis on occassion to deal with my massive PTSD and other emotional disorders, when I returned from an intense situation out of the country. Before that I had not smoked at all. With the added pressure from being arrested because of my breakdown, I found it was the best fix for my emotions. I was always wary that my newly restarted consumption after ten years of not smoking could get me in trouble. So for others in my situation, and for just my own personal knowledge, does cranberry juice help or do any of the alternatives sold online?

Dear CK: Well, I’m glad someone finally asked me this question, because there’s just so much BS floating around the Internet about this subject, and I’ve been looking for an excuse to put some good information out there. Drug testing is a $6 billion business in the United States alone, and it’s used as an excuse to keep a lot of productive, creative people out of the workforce or in jail.

The simple fact is that the basic urine test does not actually test for THC. What they actually look for are metabolites — substances created by the body after you ingest cannabis — and those metabolites are stored in your body fat for a relatively long time: a week or so for occasional users, up to three weeks for regular users, and anywhere up to three months for patients like me who take their medicine several times a day.

So the first rule of understanding the urine test process is that time is your friend…the longer you can delay the test after your last toke, the more chance you’ll have of testing negative.

Some people recommend “adulterants” such as bleach, eye drops, Mountain Dew (really!) or even commercial products on the theory that these will “clean” or “mask” the results somehow. This is merely wishful thinking. But now labs have begun to test for these things as well, so using them might actually make you look worse for attempting to beat the test willfully.

Now we’ll get into the deepest area of urban legend: the idea that some magic drink or pill will “flush” the metabolites out of your body. This belief has caused untold people to fail tests, but worse, caused them to go through some serious shit on the way, and in the case of the recently-popular colon cleansing products, I mean that literally.

There is absolutely nothing you can eat or drink that will, by itself, insure you pass a urine test while a detectable level of THC metabolites is still in your body. Period.

The good news is that it is possible to beat a urine test. If your marijuana use is rare or occasional, or if you’re near the middle to end of the detectable period for your level of use or you’re not a heavy user, you have an excellent chance with the dilution method, which I will describe in detail below.

The only absolutely sure way to pass a urine test is to go in there with clean human or synthetic urine at the correct temperature. Even this will not work for high-security urine tests where they actually watch you pee, unless you come equipped with an insanely realistic ninja pee kit, and you better do a lot of practicing beforehand.

The dilution method works on the principle that they’re looking for a specific level of metabolites in your urine, which is generally 50 ng./ml. If you can dilute your urine so the level is lower than that, you pass. Simple, but the labs figured that out long ago too, so now they check for too-dilute urine by looking at the color, and they also test for other stuff to attempt to make sure it’s real, undiluted urine. Drinking water will not “flush the THC out”, but it will dilute your urine. So after putting together every bit of up-to-date information I can find, here’s what I would do:

1. Start at least 3 days before the test eating a lot of red meat or taking creatine (available at places like GNC). This will build up the creatinine levels in your system, because they test for this substance (a metabolite of creatine, found in meat) to make sure your urine isn’t diluted. If you don’t take this step, you’re likely to fail the test right here, so if you don’t have time to prepare, your only hope is clean urine.

2. At the same time, you should start drinking a natural diuretic that will help toxins and other foreign substances move out of your body through urine…something like…cranberry juice! See, there’s always a hint of truth in every urban legend! Here’s where cranberry juice fits in, and it can really help, but you have to do the other stuff too.

3. The hardest part here is next. An hour or two before the test, take some B vitamins to color your urine (50 to 100 mg. of B2 or B12 or B-complex is generally recommended) and then start drinking water like crazy, a glass every 15 minutes or so. You should drink a total of about a quart of water (or a liter, if you’re in Canada). Please do not overdo this part, because you can actually die from water intoxication, though you’d have to drink a lot more than that (yes, that means that cannabis is actually safer than water). You should also urinate at least once during this time (whew!), because you should not give them the first urine sample of the day for testing.

4. When it comes time to give the sample, take it “midstream”, so to speak…first pee into the toilet, then into the jar. This will give you the best chance of the lowest concentration of metabolites.

Sometimes after all this preparation, your urine will still come off as too dilute, and they generally give you a second chance to take the test. Schedule that out as far as possible (tell them you have a prepaid vacation or something) and next time…don’t dilute quite so much and you should be fine. Good luck!

Got a question for Old Hippie? Send your questions to: oldhippie@the420times.com or post a comment below.

28 Responses

  1. loveings11

    ok so i dont smoke much at all i mean like once in a blue moon. but this weekend i smoked all weekend and now have to piss in a week or so. Now if i drink water and cranbarry juice and eat right for the week and than take a vitamen pill befor the test will this work for me to pass the test. I know i shouldnt of smoked in the fist place but i did and now im here askin how i can get clean for this test. please let me know the best thing to do asap

  2. hello

    Is that also what cvs drug tests test at? I passed 2 of those. I barely smoke, smoked last 2 weeks ago & my test is on Thursday

  3. hello

    Is that also what cvs drug tests test at? I passed 2 of those. I barely smoke, smoked last 2 weeks ago & my test is on Thursday

  4. red

    Can old urine be used as a substitute, I. Took a test today I had my wife give me a sample last week cause I expected the test then. It was rescheduled and I wasn’t able to get a new sample so I figured old was better than mine I didn’t keep it refridgerated but it didn’t look too dark or smell bad. What you think?

    • moff

      no no no no. the urine needs to be body temperature or else you’re fucked and they’ll know. i also heard with it not being body temp you can get all sorts of f’ed up results.

    • Abe Sauer

      if you are going to use fake urine or someone elses urine for an official test make sure the temperature is right, if not your screwed. this is only for an official lab test tho, for the home tests it wouldn’t make a difference

  5. pammy

    im going for a cabin crew health check up and i smoke at least a joint a day…how should i go about removing metabolites from my urine?hw long before the test should i stop smoking?

  6. Roy LichtenStein

    Yeah it’s totally works. I stopped smoking 14 days before my test, and used this method and I passed. I smoke a lot, not everyday but generally 2-3 times per week, and from the minute I found out about the test I started downing water, and eating red meat. A few days before I took two separate home tests for pot, and passed. First time i check to see if water would beat it and it worked. The second time I check to see how long it would take to water the pee down and color it using 6 bcomplex vitamins and it passed again. Just make sure you eat a lot of red meat (beef jerky, steak, roast,. etc) or buy creatine tabs and eat a shit load everyday until the test. Good luck, and try to remain calm, otherwise you’ll lose your shit up until you receive the result.

    Thanks !!!!

  7. naynay woo

    I took what I was told to be “detox” pills and I passed my drug test for Target. For real. These things burned the fuck out of my body though. I was as red as a lobster. I have tried everything in the book though, from pickle juice, straight up vinegar, drink ungodly amounts of water, cranberry juice, soap (on time lmao)….I would even do all those in one day, and still piss dirty. So like dude said, just give it time. Drink plenty of fluids and stay active and try to get the weed out of your system naturally. If you can’t afford to fail a drug test because you need a job or whatever then you shouldn’t buy weed at all. Oh wow. I think this might knock some sense into someone and myself. TYBG!!

  8. moytoy420

    this was great info that i can use… i enjoy smoking on a casual bases, but having to take care of some important issuses that keeps me from smoking… it had been since september 20, and ive just stayed clean to be on the safe side… and i had the urge smoke and did, it was something too take the edge off of the bs that been going on… now have to get clean to get back on track, so thanx for the info..!! ill be take a practice test before the big day…

  9. Luimi Dynasty

    Gotta give you a big thanks for the info!

    Sad that as productive member of society(I have been working since I was 13) I have to resort to this because I want a better opportunity. Bless

  10. Yippy Ki Aye

    Hey there, good article. I do have one critique. You suggest using B2 to “color” urine. B2 is one of MANY substances which have been known to produce a false positive for THC. If I might add a piece of my own advice… If you test positive, OBJECT Vigorously! Most common pain relievers can also result in a false positive for a couple days afterward. Taking vitamins (particularly a B complex) is fairly common. So: Deny, deny, deny… and demand a retest.

  11. climber420

    its fri today i have a interview on monday and im a daily user whats my best option to piss clean by monday’

  12. pls help

    Just asking, I don’t have any testing right now, I’m just planning to go out and get applications for jobs and what not and just in case I get called for the job and what not but I was wondering how long it takes for it not to show up in your urine?

    I usually don’t smoke too often. Maybe once every few months but this time I kind of smoked alone and I had a lot left over so from Saturday to Wednesday I smoked. Not even a whole bowl, it was just a few hits then I’d put away for the next night. I did that every day for those five days. With Sunday being an exception, I smoked that in the morning… Don’t think I touched it later that night but I was wondering how long it’ll take for it to not show up in my urine? I’m not going job hunting anytime soon without knowing. Sorry if its a dumb question, I’m not all familiar with all this haha.

  13. weedhead

    B .S I SMOKE ON A REGULAR VERY HEAVY I POPPED SN ANTIBIOTIC DA SAME DAY OF MY URINE DRUG TEST DRUNK 3 LARGE CUPS OF WATER RELEASE DA FIRST PEE @HOME BY DA TIME I HAD TO GO AGAIN I WAS @ THE PLACE TO DROP MY URINE FOR THE DRUG TEST GT A CALL FRM THR EMPLOYER SAYING EVRYTHN WAS GOOD I PASSED N GT THE JOB NOW FAR AS DA JUICE GOES IS WACK ULL FAIL I WOULDN’T EVEN TRY IT

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