We recently caught up with our old friend and 9th favorite podcast host, Stoner Jesus, for a talk about his longtime sidekick St. Peter, and a possible Presidential run by Peter this year.

an artist’s rendering of St. Peter

“Yeah, he says he’s running,” Stoner Jesus told us. “On a platform of legal drugs, hookers and gambling. These are legitimate issues of course, but the man behind the platform itself is…just the worst kind of human being imaginable.”

With St. Peter glaring at him silently from across the studio, Stoner Jesus proceeds to talk for the next 27 minutes on what an awful person St. Peter was. Many of the words SJ used we knew, like atrocious and abominable, some we had to look up, like duplicitous, and some we are sure Stoner Jesus just made up, like indefathomable. It was less than a rousing endorsement for St. Peter’s campaign.

“Did you know Peter fornicated with a chicken?” Stoner Jesus asked. With that, we made our way to the door, leaving behind Stoner Jesus to search through his hard drive for some unspeakable audio clip while Peter began to throw things at him, like old apple cores, which Peter apparently kept on his person for just such an occasion.

Don’t expect St. Peter to be giving an inaugural address in Washington D.C. on January 20, 2013.