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By LARRY LECHUGA

Tim Millsap is a Marine veteran who served in Iraq for seven months. Upon returning from his deployment, he found that he was challenged by bouts of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a condition that he manages through the use of medical marijuana.

Can you tell us about your experience in the military?
I spent 4 years in the Marine Corps stationed at Camp Pendleton with the 3rd Battalion 1st Marines. It was a typical military experience. Then, the war in Iraq started. It was the moment every Marine trains for. For us, it was the Superbowl, the World Series, the Stanley Cup, the Summer Olympics, and the NBA Finals. It was the big show.

I didn’t participate in the initial push into Baghdad in 2003, but I went over to Fallujah in June of 2004 and stayed until January of 2005. One of the Marines in my unit was quoted by a reporter saying: “If Fallujah isn’t hell, it’s in the same zip code.” It was the worst urban fighting since Hue City in Vietnam. In 7 months, we lost around 33 Marines in our unit, 22 of which were killed in the first week of fighting in Fallujah starting on November 8, 2004.

Leading up to that event, we had our hands full already: regular patrols, convoy security, daily mortar attacks, IEDs, gun fire, heat, bugs, lack of food, army politics, etc. It was rough, but I’m glad that I served and helped the people of Iraq, even if it was having cold water and giving it to someone that was thirsty, or the little hair bows and clips, candy, and toys that I gave little boys and girls. The media doesn’t show what really goes on. The stuff that makes the headlines is always negative.

The thing that people don’t understand about vets with PTSD is that for 7 months to a year, and during multiple deployments, you are on alert 24 hours a day. There are no days off. Every day is Monday and each day you wake up could be your last. When you hear gunshots, you don’t just stand there and think: “Oh, what was that?” You get the heck down and figure out where and what it came from. With that said, you are like a mouse trap ready to snap down and kill or be killed.

Then, our beloved government, with all its wisdom, thinks that it’s acceptable to take a Marine that is getting shot at for an extended period of time and send him home to see loved ones in less than 48 hours. So my question to you is this: what do you think happens when you go from combat to kissing your wife and child in less than 48 hours? We get no decompression time, and nobody tells us that things might be different when you get home.

How does PTSD affect your day-to-day life?

Sometimes, it causes me to feel depressed and anxious. I also get flair ups in my temper and bouts of aggressiveness. It has also caused me marriage problems. I distance myself from my family and friends and want to be alone for long periods of time. I also often times have a decreased interest in participating in certain activities and have feelings of detachment or estrangement from others. I get feelings that time is short and that there is no future. Other times, I get thoughts of suicide. Just thoughts, though. I have never had it so bad that I would take the easy way out. Other than that, I have insomnia, hyper-vigilance — the list could go on and on.

Which methods — other than medical marijuana — have you used in order to manage the symptoms of PTSD?
Anti-depressants, sleep meds (highly addictive), and counseling.

How did you hear about medical marijuana as an alternative to treating PTSD?
The March or April issue of High Times and the Veterans for Medical Marijuana.

Have you attempted to get a recommendation for medical marijuana through the Department of Veteran Affairs? How did that go?
Ha! I wish. The VA would never do that. Plus, I live in a state where it isn’t legal. Also, there are probably only a few people at the VA that have PTSD and know how well medical marijuana would work for treating PTSD.

What is your opinion regarding their stance towards medical marijuana? (They refuse to provide prescriptions for medical marijuana due to its illegality under federal law.)
I I think they need to talk to veterans and ask them what works. The government, doctors, and politicians always think they know what’s right, but they have no fucking clue. Why not test it? Or ask vets: “Hey, what helps with your PTSD?” And actually listen to us. Like I said before: the old folks are on their way out. The generation that was raised on doing exactly as you’re told and not asking questions is on its way out. Soon, the generation that asks questions will be taking over.

How effective has marijuana been in managing your PTSD?
It’s AMAZING. I love it, I love it, I love it. For the first time in my life, I know what it feels like to be relaxed and not like a like a balloon with a fat lady sitting on top of me. It lets me think more clearly, be calm, and sleep. It helps me fall asleep and stay asleep. Oh, wonderful sleep. I could go on and on, but the main benefit is that I can relax and not have my body feel tense. It allows me to let down my guard enough so that I feel like a normal person who has never stepped into the world of combat.

What strains in particular do you use?
I use Bubble Gum, Cantaloupe Haze, Lemon Skunk and Purple Kush.